A Letter to Our Village… I See You

I know, it takes a village to raise a child. I would be rich if I had a quarter for every time I have seen a quote on Pinterest or heard the wise words from a grandparent. What even is a village? Is it the grocery man, the local pharmacist, the grandparent, aunts and the milk man? Or is it the immediate family and close friends? I’ve always chopped it up to the people in your life that mold and shape who you are. The ones you can love and hate all at once but they generally have your best interest at heart. I never appreciated our village as much as I do now that my vilage is helping raise my child.

It’s taken me a lifetime to realize just how deep and far-reaching our village is, and children certainly have cleared the foggy window and allowed me to really focus on each and every person in it. Our village is more than just individual humans. It is deeper, full of different religions, nationalities, genders, ages, demographics and species, all working together to help me mold my children.

But Nobody told me.

Nobody told me how powerful, loving, thoughtful, and giving our village would be… to those in my village, I see you.

I see from a distance you squinting your eyes and wiping my kids boogers with your hands, and I know that’s nasty because I’m his mom. But I see you, I see you doing that because you care and you care more about them getting into his mouth than you do about your hand.

I see you tired on the couch, relaxing only to be approached by my child trying to show you his car. I see you sit up and listen, putting your tiredness aside to engage with my (what can be) annoying toddler.

I see you taking that extra five minutes to start-up the chainsaw just to see my child’s eyes light up one more time.

I see you bending over after a long days work only to push my child around on his favorite red car throughout the house just because you know it makes it happy.

I see you letting my kid drink from your water bottle 67 times, over and over and you gladly share.

I see you look my child in the eyes, listen to him and have a conversation. What you may not realize is that your conversation with him is our topic of conversation the entire way home. The energy you use, fuels him.

I see you throwing them up in the air five more times than you wanted, your arms are aching but my Childs smile is huge so you keep going. I see you, and I appreciate you.

I see you sometimes not letting my child have his way, taking a harder yet much appreciated route. That sacrifice you’re taking by teaching him fairness is one I am extremely grateful for.

To my Village.. here’s what you don’t know…

You don’t know that sometimes I reach my village tired, exhausted and hoping to just relax for a moment. You don’t know that by taking my child to play and introducing him to new things rejuvenates him, and myself. You give me the opportunity to reset and for that alone I’m grateful.

You don’t know how much it means when you show up at my house and take my child for a few hours while I clean the house and make a nice dinner. You don’t know how much sanity that brings into my life.

You don’t know but I see it all, I notice the details, i’m a mom. I am trained to watch how people are with my children, and there is no better feeling in the world than to feel my child is truly benefiting at the hands of someone else.

You don’t know that I’m okay with you making mistakes, you’re human. You love my child and just like anyone, you won’t be perfect either. So when my child falls in your care and cries, know that it’s not that big of a deal. What you don’t know is that I know it tears you up inside  because you love them, and that to me means more than any bump or bruise they get.

You don’t know that I appreciate you doing things your way with my child, they usually only see my way and my way isn’t always the best. That way you showed him how to put his thumb up actually worked, and you don’t know but I’ve been trying to get him to do it for months. You don’t know, but I appreciate you teaching my child the way YOU know how.

I get it, its fun. Its rewarding and you want to build a relationship with my child, and I appreciate that. But what you don’t know is I see those moments where you push a little harder, joke a little longer, take the extra time that you normally wouldn’t take and treat my child the amazing way that you do. Sometimes as a mother we can get caught in our comfort zone and want everyone to do exactly as we do, but I’ve learned in 2 years just how much I appreciate the exact opposite.

Having my child in the hands of someone who loves them, is wiling to put in the effort and help me raise them, is the greatest gift of all.

To my village, you definitely know who you are, and I’m incredibly thankful and blessed to have you.

 

xoxo,

Steph

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